unorthodox test run...

The morning came for my operation, but i still had no stress, worry, fear or doubt. For day's leading to my this operation i had a number of people ask how i was feeling, i couldn't give them any answer they were after as all i could say was that i was excited. People's face's gave me the look of doubt, the look of sympathy thinking i was to scared to admit i was scared, but the truth is i was not scared one bit. I did have that 'just clearing things up talk' on the way to the hospital early on that Wednesday morning. I was so focused on what that day meant, that it meant i was going to have another chance at life, i was getting a tool to help guide me to a healthier lifestyle. I was also fascinated as i had never had an operation before, my fascination was more for the fact i would be cut open and things inside would be pulled, poked, shoved stitched and id have a foreign object put inside me and i would not be aware of any thing happening at the time. Would it be like the dentist where you feel no pain but can feel something going on? Would i dream? Would i be an angry lash out type or a happy funny one coming out of the anaesthetic? I also admit i was happy from getting full attention, a day about me, feeling like i mattered. I have always felt like i mattered but it was kind of nice having 100% focus on just me getting something i wanted. The 45min drive seemed to take less than 5. We pulled up out the front of the hospital having free choice of car parks as it was way to early for anything else. We had to be at the hospital by 6.45am at the latest, so me being the wife of a soldier and the daughter of an ex-soldier we were there at 6.25am, then just a few minutes later mum arrived to be there for the day as well. Dad was meant to come too but he was at home resting his leg after a small operation on it because of a nasty fall just a few day's before that caused a blood clot and just about saw the loss of his lower leg, but luckily i just ended up with a gaping hole that he describes as an eye socket, yuck i know its to much information but that is what it looked like before it all healed over.

We headed in to reception and i paid my admission cost of $400, the excess for my privet health fund that i had over looked and had it sprung on me just 2 days before my operation. After i took it in i had a freak out thinking how the heck am i going to get that amount before Wednesday? In tears i made a few phone calls and i had an unexpected knight in shining armor come to the rescue as long as it was returned as soon as i could, so that was a done deal but not without hesitance from my behalf. All i can say is if i had any doubt before i certainly don't anymore that i have people who love me and believe in what i can do, so thank you once again to my knight.

After doing all the official signing in i get taken to the High dependency ward where i was shown my bed and then sent straight to give a urine sample then have a shower to wash my belly with an iodine wash and change into the hospital gown, this part was not so fun as the gown didn't quite fit so i needed to get another one to wear the other way around. I then had to get on the bed and have special stockings put on that would be hooked up to a machine at the end of the bed that pumped air through them and massaged my lower legs to prevent blood clots (boy i wish i could have taken that machine home), Also i was put under a special air filled heating blanket to ensure my body temperature to be at a safe level for the operation. The nurse soon returned to give me my pre-meds, stupidly thinking these would be a tablet i was handed a half full cup of clear liquid and one other was sat on the table next to me, the nurse asked me to drink these and warned she has heard they were not very nice, sculling was allowed so i got stuck into the first one and YUCK so i did the same with the other just as quick as the first cause if i didn't it wasn't going to go in. If i had to pick my worst taste i had ever had this was it, I promise you it was FOUL.

Michael and Mum were then allowed to come in because i was all prepped ready to go. Expecting to only have Michael and Mum there before i went in, i then get a nice surprise of Melissa one of my sister in laws tagged along by Lilly one of my beautiful nieces who was 2 years 8 months. My Brother Craig was also there but as there was no more than 2 allowed due to being a high dependency ward and a room with 3 other people who were recovering from their own surgery. So after some people shuffling i got to see everyone and had lots of cuddles and best wishes from Lilly.

9am came and it was finally my turn to get wheeled off to theater, this part was funny as it was bringing back childhood memories of being wheeled around in the wheel barrow from my brothers. I also pictured myself in a TV show on 'All Saints' or something like that, i was trying to take everything in, the roof pattern, the water stains, the nurse wheeling me, the way people would move out of our way as we had some sort of priority in the corridors, even the flapping of the double doors after we passed through. I had a short wait just inside the first part of the theater rooms where i was greeted by Tamaris who asked one last time if i had changed my mind at all or even had any doubt about the procedure at all, with me responding a very definite 'NO WAY' plus i had great delight telling her i had lost 5kg because all loss was a big loss to me. From there i was wheeled into what i call a theater prepping room or something like that, but it was small and i had my blood presser taken, my temperature taken medical questions asked and lot more, Des then came to great me and do his part on making sure i was ready for the operation, one thing that i remember was Des asking me to niff in and out to see if i had a clear nose, then asked me to actually check, so with a horrified and puzzled look on my face thinking well i guess he IS a doctor so I'm guessing in a situation like this i guess i just have to do it, so i put my finger up my nostrils to feel, only with Des giving a quiet chuckle and a big grin on his face showed me he meant. He didn't want me to put my finger up my nose to check, he wanted me to squeeze my nose from the bone down to the tip. Red faced me then did this. Just before i was left for a little longer Des sprayed a nostril clearing spray in my nose that ended up running down the back of my throat and numbing it giving me a feeling my throat was swelling up and i was having trouble swallowing, i then stared to worry as i had no one in there to tell, but just a few minutes later Des returned who assured me i was OK it was the spray doing its job. At 9.20am a short time later i was collected and taken into the actual theatre where i was to shuffle from my bed to the operating table. I processed this fairly quickly in my head as the operating team didn't look like they were willing to wait long but my head was thinking how do they expect me to fit on THAT? this operating table was only about half my width and shorly it cant carry my weight, but then figured that they have done this before many times so it must work some how. So i did what was asked and well it was all good, i fitted/balanced and well the table didn't collapse in a big heap underneath me. I had nurses all around me following instructions from Des and someone else who could have been Tamaris but I'm not sure as they all wore the masks and it seemed to go so fast i was trying to take it all in at once, but i do remember getting a nice huge cool jelly like lump put under my knees, my arms positioned on the arm extensions, my head being tilted back and the table being tilted to the right angle. Not long after that i was told they were going to start to put the Anaesthetic into my drip and i would just relax then moments later i was out of it.

I was getting woken up in the recovery room and all i can remember was a dark haired nurse talking to me and all i could manage though my drowsiness and the oxygen mask was "Is it in?" its all i wanted to know, i didn't think of anything else just that. The nurse then told me "Yes, Yes its in" and out of it i went again full of happiness that i finally had my band. I'm not sure how long it was after that they wheeled me back to my spot in the high dependency room but i do remember getting wheeled there and seeing my family just around the corner from the High Dependency room but couldn't work out why they had the disappointed look on their face's, especially Mum. I didn't have much of an idea on time as i was in and out of conciseness but in an attempt to be with it Tamaris was there to see me to tell me how it all went. First i heard was "I'm so sorry but i couldn't get the band in" and she briefly explained why, but then that was followed by "but also i have lost a small needle in you that popped off and we could not find it, i will have to be remove it next time". To start with i thought Tamaris was just joking, trying to have a sense of humor, but she wasn't laughing nor did she even have a smile on her face. I told myself "No this cant be right because that nurse just out of the theatre said its in so it is, but then i guess she had to tell me that as she was not allowed to tell me news like this". What seemed like minutes was just seconds and the realisation on what Tamaris was telling me was true, I didn't have the band and i had a needle inside me somewhere, all i wanted to do was cry but that didn't seem to want to work properly as i was to weak and my throat was rough from the tube but i still cried. I'm not sure if they were there while Tamaris was telling me this but i then remembered Mum grabbing one hand and Michael the other then i fell back to sleep still crying. This iv been told was around 11.30-mid day.

Michael sat with me all day and was there when i woke up properly at around 5-5.30pm pulling at my mask wanting it off. The nurse reluctantly swapped me over to the nostril tubes that sit just under the nose and said if that wasn't enough yet she would have to put the mask back on, but i managed it well. Michael gave me a kiss on the head and said mum not long called. Mum left about 2pm i think Michael told me, as there was not allot she could do now and Craig and Melissa left not long after i came back to the room from theatre. Not allot was said about what Tamaris had told me but i did ask Michael if that was true? Did she tell me that or was i just dreaming it? but Michael confirmed she was there and did tell me the bad news. I didn't cry, I'm not sure if it was me all cried out, shock or just numb that once again life threw me a curve ball, but i just laid there staring at Michael who i could tell had a few tears for me but not while i was awake he stayed strong, i was so proud of the way he cared for me. I gave Mum a quick call to let her know i was awake and feeling OK because i knew she would be waiting along with Dad, i hung up to relieved parents. I told Michael he could go not long after that as i was feeling very tired and he had been there all day not eating much and Sally had offered him to join her Chris and the kids for a roast dinner, so he kissed me goodbye and headed off.

I managed to get out of bed after a process of unplugging me from a number of machines, with help out i went to the toilet before they used alternate options, wearing only a top and my nickers, something i never thought id do in a million years in public but was to sore and week to care, i felt like a little old crippled lady not being able to stand straight and I'm sure if a turtle was there it would have run laps around me, but we managed.
It was a quiet night watching TV as i couldn't manage the magazine Melissa had bought me with a nice bunch of my favorite flowers (Australian native). The nurse checked on me regularly and kept up my pain relief in my drip and ice for me to suck on from my very dry mouth. I didn't have a solid sleep in the night but was not sleep deprived either. I gave up at 6.30 and got the nurse to help me out of bed for a shower before it got busy, only to be rushed out by the nurse letting me know Tamaris was on her rounds and i didn't want to miss her to ask questions. So with that advice i then moved from a snails pace to a turtles pace and was on the edge of my bed when Tamaris came in.

Tamaris explained better what had happened and what was going to happen now. The equipment Tamaris was using was not quite long enough for her to get the port in and i had 2 extra insertions where she tried hard to get in there but it no go and i would be sorer than most as the 2 extra incisions she made were done diagonally into muscle on my side. (well that explained why i looked like a wimp compared to the other lady who had her band put in just hours after me, as she seemed to have allot more mobility that I)

Tamaris then explained i was like one in a million with the needle. Trust me to be different, to do things a little unorthodox, to be the odd one out. Dad said it could only be me wanting a test run first.

The needle was a tiny fine fish bone size needle that was lodged in a fat pocket and how they searched the floor with a magnet to double check before they x-rayed me to discover it was there in my belly. Tamaris said there was little to no chance of it moving or causing problems and would remove it when she went back in to try and do the band again. This was great news, she would try again in a few months time, but i did need to lose 15-20kg first so Tamaris would be more confident it would work.

After Tamaris left i managed breakfast but couldn't help thinking it was rubbing salt into the wounds having been served the breakfast i was to get after getting the band put in, all liquid. Then to top it off i was given an information pack on my first few weeks after Lap Banding. Michael arrived around 8am and ready to take me home, so the nurse changed my dressings and let me go. We had to wait around till just before 9am to see the receptionist to make my follow on appointments and get my new operation date.

September 22 would be my new date.